That was d qns he asked. N dat was a qns I duno Hw to answer. So many factors so many reasons, what's real n what's right? The lines r blurred n I can't tell.
But I do know that I no longer feel desired or desirable. I no longer feel that I am an individual to him. When was d last time he asked how my day was? When did he see me for who I m, n not as pp's mom? When he come back from sch, he don't ask how was my day at work. He asks any pics of pp, or how was he today. As the times goes by, I'm no longer part of his qns.
We don't chat over dinner becuz we don't have dinner tog. Even on the rare occasions we do, it's in front of the tv. That why I have always hated tv dinners, or renting of tv dramas to watch.
He said that it's been a mth since d last time. And that d last few times were initiated by him. Of cuz I was interested. Of cuz I have my needs n wants. But if one don't feel desirable enough, confident enuff, would one wana make d first move? I feel fat n flabby n small n pimply. Would u feel sme1 would desire u if u feel dat abt urself? I duno how to initiate n hint my needs too. What do I do to make him desire? M I suppose to bat my eyes at him or flash him? But to go round, how to bat when I feel it'll draw his attention to my pimples? How to flash when my fats r nt at d correct place?
Of course I find that things r not d same btw us. Of course I miss the closeness. But we've been drifting n both duno how to close d gap.
It's definitely not just his fault. It's not Juz dat he looking at me but not seeing me that made us drift. I'm at fault too. I'm too engross w d kid n recently KAW.
However, KAW does give us a common topic which I like. It's 'friends' that we share. He can ask mi how much I have in bank now. We can trade allies. I may b too caught into d chats, but it was d chats that remind me of Jessie Lim Qi Min, n not Caleb's mom.
I admit that I din do enuff to keep the fire burning. I m scared that we are walking on d road of no return. That our paths will not b parallel again. But I need ur help too. I need u to see me, to ask about mi, to make me feel desirable. That I'm not Juz ur kid's mom.
You say that I dun hold ur hand, but do u hold mine? You say that we r not close anymore, but you sit far fr mi too.
I asked, I held ur hand yesterday, I held on to you yest. I've been kissing u more d past few days. Yet I dun feel anything fr u.
R we too far away already?
But I do know that I no longer feel desired or desirable. I no longer feel that I am an individual to him. When was d last time he asked how my day was? When did he see me for who I m, n not as pp's mom? When he come back from sch, he don't ask how was my day at work. He asks any pics of pp, or how was he today. As the times goes by, I'm no longer part of his qns.
We don't chat over dinner becuz we don't have dinner tog. Even on the rare occasions we do, it's in front of the tv. That why I have always hated tv dinners, or renting of tv dramas to watch.
He said that it's been a mth since d last time. And that d last few times were initiated by him. Of cuz I was interested. Of cuz I have my needs n wants. But if one don't feel desirable enough, confident enuff, would one wana make d first move? I feel fat n flabby n small n pimply. Would u feel sme1 would desire u if u feel dat abt urself? I duno how to initiate n hint my needs too. What do I do to make him desire? M I suppose to bat my eyes at him or flash him? But to go round, how to bat when I feel it'll draw his attention to my pimples? How to flash when my fats r nt at d correct place?
Of course I find that things r not d same btw us. Of course I miss the closeness. But we've been drifting n both duno how to close d gap.
It's definitely not just his fault. It's not Juz dat he looking at me but not seeing me that made us drift. I'm at fault too. I'm too engross w d kid n recently KAW.
However, KAW does give us a common topic which I like. It's 'friends' that we share. He can ask mi how much I have in bank now. We can trade allies. I may b too caught into d chats, but it was d chats that remind me of Jessie Lim Qi Min, n not Caleb's mom.
I admit that I din do enuff to keep the fire burning. I m scared that we are walking on d road of no return. That our paths will not b parallel again. But I need ur help too. I need u to see me, to ask about mi, to make me feel desirable. That I'm not Juz ur kid's mom.
You say that I dun hold ur hand, but do u hold mine? You say that we r not close anymore, but you sit far fr mi too.
I asked, I held ur hand yesterday, I held on to you yest. I've been kissing u more d past few days. Yet I dun feel anything fr u.
R we too far away already?
